FOUND Bites - Matter - 4/20

It’s 4/20 and the way the world is going, it’s a wonder that we are still arguing about legalizing marijuana. The entire planet needs to chill so, legalize it so we can find more ways to do so.

While we wait to hear the verdict from the Chauvin case, what is it we are waiting for and why are we waiting?

I had to step away from this for a minute to interview the Executive Director of Theatre Philadelphia about upcoming events. Our meeting started as the verdict was being handed down. 

A year ago, our lives slowed to a snail’s pace as we waited for guidance on how to safely move through a global pandemic. Some were at a complete stand still while, I continued to work but, from home. I was fortunate. I have also been very fortunate to avoid much of the injustice we are fighting for. I have never been involved in any issues beyond moving violations in the early stages of car ownership with the police but, I have witnessed it and have feared this reality, anytime I was behind the wheel. I do not have a driver’s license today. 

The thought of having a vehicle and driving proudly down the street only made me feel like a potential target. And, since my mother lost her life behind the wheel of a vehicle at a very young age, I saw no real justification to have a vehicle if another way was possible. 

Years and years of examples of police officers who claim to see us as threats when they could have just ignored us, felt like they were actively looking for reasons to place black and brown people in such situations. So, I do not drive a vehicle. I walk, bike and take public transportation, like a boss. 

After my wonderful interview, my friends send texts, asking me how I am feeling now that the verdict has found Chauvin guilty on all counts. Originally, I had no real thought because I was cautiously optimistic but, ready to justify a not guilty verdict as well. This is how we live. We assume things will not work out and we prepare for the worse. I charged the batteries in my camera and prepared my bag to meet a protest wherever it would end up. 

But, a guilty verdict changed things. Standing in my living room, ready for action, I put my bag down and sat with the reality that what we all saw is what we all saw. That a jury saw the same thing and what we believed happened from the comfort of our personal screens was in fact, true. 

Chauvin has been held accountable. We were not crazy. My heart began to settle. So, back to my friends asking how I was feeling. I hope this verdict inspires more people to speak out and not accept being gaslit into thinking they don’t see what they see, know what they know to be true about people and the underhanded attempts to discredit us because they are threatened by us.

I told my friend that we can no longer accept that we are less than. We must own our worth and not back down from attempts to diminish that fact. We must take control of our lives and we will no longer allow people to gaslight us. 

I matter. You matter. George Floyd mattered. And, the many other souls who lost their lives to the violence explained away by the police, their lives mattered as well. We have showed what happens when we sit on the sidelines and pretend these accounts are not about us. 

So, if you have to walk on eggshells around me until I make you feel welcomed and safe, so be it. My life matters and I will never let you tell me otherwise. I exhale, for now. But, the work continues.