FOUND (Bites) - Coming Out Day 2019

Photo Credit: Albert Lee

It’s October 11, 2019. 24 years ago, I came out to my father and my grandmother. I paced our house one evening thinking, what was I going to say to them? How would I say it to them? What will they say to me? I was scared but, I didn’t know why. They had never gave me a reason to doubt their love for me. 

I told my father first, he was laying in the living room with a broken leg from a work incident. I guess, my thought was, I, at the time, was his oldest child and only son. What would hearing that your son is gay do to a man with only one son? In a quick change in my brain, I told my father that I was bi-sexual and wanted to know what he thought. He said, and I quote, “Because you choose something different, is no reason for me to stop loving you, is it?” It’s like he was prepared with this statement. 

Did he already know? After I told him, I went back to my room and cried on my bed. I can’t believe that was his response. What was I expecting? Why was I expecting the worst from him? Of course, he would love me no matter what. He and I share the same name, the same blood runs through our veins. 

Get it together, it’s time to tell my grandmother. I gathered myself and entered her bedroom. She was watching television. I asked her, what did she think about me being bi-sexual? Weird, even now. My grandmother said, “It’s it’s ok with god, it’s ok with me”. These are the hardest approvals you can get as a 14 year old. My mother passed away when I was 7, just before my 8th birthday and, before her 24th. 

Either way, I would have years of feeling alone. But, the one thing I did not have was a fear of being out. The people that mattered the most already knew and gave me their support. We never really spoke of it after that but, I knew, I was safe. 

No matter what your situation, it is in your best interest to COME OUT! Leap, and the net will follow. Find your tribe and live your truth. If you can’t find anyone, I would be happy to be your friend. I wouldn’t change who I am for the world. And, while the world tries to discredit me at almost every turn, I know who I am. I see myself. I am OUT and PROUD. And, I am not ashamed to remind the world of that. That’s how I FOUND myself...I Came Out.  -ME